I Have a 13-Year-Old Tennis Player and a 6-Year-Old Soccer Player. Here’s Why I Created a Guide for the Mental Side of Sport.

You want to help your child through the hard moments in sport. Sometimes the hardest part is knowing what to say.

THE GAME ENDS. THE FEELINGS COME HOME WITH YOU.

There is a kind of drive home many sports parents know. The equipment is in the car. The competition is over. But your child is still carrying a mistake, a missed chance, or a result they wanted so badly.

Sometimes it comes out as frustration. Sometimes it is silence. You want to reach across that distance and help. You also know that even loving words can land badly when a child is disappointed.

Should I ask about it? Give advice? Tell them to forget it? Just be there?

My daughter Emma is thirteen and competes in tennis. My son Noah is six and plays soccer. Their sports and challenges are different. The feeling I have watching them is the same: I want them to do well, and I want them to feel good about who they are while they learn.

If you have ever stood on a sideline wishing you could lend your child a little of your belief in them, you may recognize why I started looking for a better way to help.

YOU CAN SEE THEIR ABILITY. YOU ALSO SEE WHAT GETS IN THE WAY.

You see the effort they put in. You see what they can do on a relaxed training day. Then a competition feels important, a mistake happens, and the next moment suddenly becomes harder.

You cannot play the next point for them. You cannot choose their thoughts. You can offer support, but it is not always obvious what useful support looks like.

We bring our own feelings, too. Pride. Worry. Disappointment on their behalf. The urge to fix something quickly because watching them struggle is hard.

I began asking a different question: how do I help my children learn to handle those moments—and become steadier in the way I support them?

BEFORE THERE WAS A GUIDE, I DID THE WORK FOR MY OWN CHILDREN

I consulted a sport-psychology professional. I studied published research. And I worked through approaches that did not always fit our family.

I wanted to understand why a tool might help, how to explain it to a teenager, and what would make sense to a six-year-old. I also had to look at my own reactions as a parent.

A parent’s lived experience. A sports-psychology foundation. Clear steps another family can use.

Next Play grew out of bringing those things together: professional guidance, research, and the experience of applying the ideas with Emma and Noah.

See the research behind the approach.

I wanted other parents to have a clearer starting point, without piecing everything together through the same searching and trial and error. A practical guide they could turn to when they wanted to help but did not know where to begin.

FOR EMMA, IT WAS ABOUT BEING READY FOR THE NEXT POINT

With a thirteen-year-old tennis player, there is a lot wrapped up in a match. Preparation. Expectations. A ranking. The wish to show what all that work can become.

I wanted Emma to have a way forward when a point went wrong. Something she could make her own, instead of another speech from the sidelines.

Using the guide helped us work on moving attention from the last mistake to the next useful action. It also gave me a clearer role: support the athlete, listen, and make room for her growing independence.

Emma moved from somewhere in the eighties to No. 20 on the junior list she competes in. I am proud of that progress. Mental preparation was part of the work we were doing, alongside her coaching, physical practice, and experience.

For another parent, the value may begin in a much smaller moment: seeing their child ready to try again, or knowing how to be helpful after a difficult match.

WITH NOAH, THE SAME CARE NEEDED DIFFERENT WORDS

Noah is six. I want soccer to remain a place to explore, belong, and have fun.

A younger child can care enormously about a small moment without having the words to explain why it feels so big. A long explanation about performance psychology will not meet that child where they are.

The guide helped me make my support simpler and more useful at his age. One understandable next step. Encouragement he could take into the game. Room to make a mistake and keep participating.

He keeps progressing in soccer, and I have a clearer way to support that progress. That matters to me as much as finding the right words for a teenager’s tournament.

THE PARENT NEEDS SUPPORT, TOO

If you have replayed your own words after a game and wondered whether you helped, you are not the only parent who has asked that question.

I did not want every ride home to become another review of what needed improving. I wanted my children to feel that I was beside them, whatever the score.

For me, a benefit of having a clear approach was less guessing about my own role. When to listen. When to ask. When to let a conversation wait. How to support ambition without making every moment feel like an assessment.

It is easier to offer steadiness when you have thought about your own response before emotions run high. That is part of what I wanted another parent to get from Next Play.

THE RESEARCH BEHIND THE PRACTICE

PARENT-CREATED. INFORMED BY SPORTS PSYCHOLOGY.

These are examples of the published work I brought together with our family’s practical experience. Here is how the principles connect to the activities in Next Play.

01

Self-talk with a purpose

A meta-analysis of 32 studies found an overall benefit of self-talk interventions for sport-task performance. Effects varied with the task and the kind of self-talk used.

Practical aim: help a child return attention to a useful task with words that feel believable to them.

Hatzigeorgiadis et al. (2011) · Perspectives on Psychological Science

Read the self-talk meta-analysis

02

The parent’s role matters

Harwood and Knight’s research review and position paper describes age-appropriate support, managing parental emotions, and adapting involvement as important parts of sport parenting.

Practical aim: help a parent respond more calmly and offer support that fits the athlete.

Harwood & Knight (2015) · Psychology of Sport and Exercise

Read the sport-parenting paper

03

Support the whole young athlete

The IOC youth-development consensus includes psychological and social development alongside sporting skills, with attention to individual needs and enjoyable, sustainable participation.

Practical aim: support confidence and learning in ways that fit the child’s age and wider life.

Bergeron et al. (2015) · British Journal of Sports Medicine

Read the youth-development consensus

These publications inform the underlying principles. Next Play adapts them for everyday family use.

THAT IS WHY I PUT NEXT PLAY TOGETHER

I brought what I had learned into one mental guide for sports families. A way to help parents support confidence, focus, responses to mistakes, and the moments around competition.

Over 100,000 people have used Next Play and successfully helped their children become better in what they do.

The benefit I want parents to recognize is simple: a clearer way to help their child approach the next challenge, and a clearer way to stand beside them.

A BETTER NEXT MOMENT CAN BE A PLACE TO START

Your child may play tennis, soccer, basketball, or another sport. You may be supporting a young beginner or a teenager who takes competition seriously.

The moments can look different. The wish behind them is familiar: I want my child to feel capable of facing this, and I want to know how to help.

Next Play gives that wish a practical direction. Support a more useful response after an error. Help your athlete bring attention back to the task. Make the conversation after sport feel more supportive.

You do not have to find the perfect sentence for every difficult sporting moment. Having a clear next step—for your child and for yourself—is a useful place to begin.

That is what I wanted Next Play to give another family: a little more clarity in the moments when a parent wants to help most.